Any chance to get together with family is a reason to be thankful and appreciative, but as many of us know, these occasions are often more memorable because of their discomfort and tension. You can disagree with your loved ones fundamentally and still appreciate them as a person, regardless of what the media says about cutting them out of your life. But we could all use a refresher on what is proper dinner conversation and what is not. Here are 11 questions we need to stop asking on Thanksgiving.
1. When are you going to meet someone?
This should go without saying, but single people don’t need to be reminded that they are single. The holidays are one of the hardest times to be alone, especially when it seems like everyone around you has someone. Even if the person this question is for has given up on dating entirely, let them tell you; don’t go looking for it. Regardless of how much or how little information he gives you about his romantic life, be supportive and loving. It is a holiday, after all.
2. Why don’t you expose yourself more?
If having a successful romantic relationship or a boyfriend or fiancé to parade in front of your family at Christmas gatherings were simply a matter of “putting yourself out there,” we’d all have someone. But most of us aren’t just looking for “everyone.”
In case you didn’t know, modern dating is absolutely abominable. Singles are not only targeted by men and women, progressive and conservative, old and young, about what they are supposedly doing wrong, but in this day and age, the stakes are high for dating anyone, especially if you are looking for marriage and a family.
3. What happened to So-and-so?
Of all the questions you really shouldn’t ask, this one takes the cake. Breakups are hard enough without every family member asking the ins and outs of why you left him or her with your ex. It’s natural to become attached to the people your relatives are dating, especially if you’ve been together for a while and have previously attended Christmas gatherings and family events. But still! What a completely avoidable way to spoil that person’s vacation. Put the past in the past and focus on who is present with you around the table, not who is missing.
4. When are you getting married?
One of the quickest ways to sour what is supposed to be a fun meeting is to bring up a sensitive topic. If a couple in your family is taking their sweet time, one of them (or both) may not be ready to make the big leap into a lifetime commitment. Marriage is a big problem, and we must treat it as such. The dinner table or the living room isn’t really the place to discuss that sort of thing, especially in front of a lot of people. Skip it and watch football instead if you’re looking for some kind of excitement.
5. When are you going to have children?
Every newlywed gets this question at one point or another, and while there’s usually nothing sinister or malicious behind it, you, as an outsider, aren’t privy to the intimate parts of someone else’s marriage, nor He should be. There are many reasons why a new couple probably doesn’t want to discuss their sex life and family planning at the dinner table, and that should be respected, no matter how quickly or soon they got pregnant and how many children they have. to think they should have. For all you know, they may already be trying or planning to start in the future, or even postpone it for specific reasons. Just compliment the pumpkin pie and leave the procreation talk to the people it concerns first.
6. Is everyone here vaccinated?
At this point, everyone who wanted the vaccine has received it. Why not just leave it like that? Also, are other people’s personal and private medical decisions really a good topic of conversation when passing green bean casserole? Not really.
7. Have you received a boost?
Now that there is evidence to suggest that the effectiveness of boosters declines after four months (which basically means we’re looking at a barrel of boosters for life), let’s bring the discussion of boosters alongside vaccines. Some of us want reinforcements, and some of us aren’t interested in buying retirement homes for pharmaceutical executives, especially when this holiday gathering is expected to be much more expensive than years past. It’s really as simple as that.
8. Are you really going to eat all that?
(Besides family and gratitude) isn’t this what the holidays are all about? Worry about what’s on your own plate, not someone else’s.
9. Have you gained weight?
Only insecure people want to make others feel insecure. Don’t be that person, especially when the people who love you the most are involved. And if you really have to be that person, suggest taking a walk after dinner or playing a game of football. Most of us will gain weight over the holidays, but getting the whole family involved when it comes to post-turkey active coma is a good place to start if you’re really worried.
10. Does your baby not do that yet?
Whatever arbitrary milestone you’re asking about, this is passive-aggressive and nothing more. You don’t have to make yourself feel better by expressing false sympathy for new or even seasoned parents, and there’s no need to offer advice unless asked.
11. Who are you voting for?
This is another quick way to kill the vibe. While the conflict around the family dinner table during the holidays can be the mainstay of what passes for comedy in Saturday night live Nowadays, you don’t have to rule its dining room table. Leave politics out of the day, and you’re guaranteed to have a much more pleasant time, especially if you know for a fact that you’re not capable of civil conversation between family members. Again, you don’t have to agree with your family on everything to love them deeply; if that were the standard to follow, most of us would have cut ties long ago. And there is no need to “educate” them on political issues on a day intended for gratitude and family. Some things are simply more important than citing statistics or winning arguments. Count your blessings, eat your pumpkin pie, and postpone polarizing discussions for another time.
final thoughts
We are facing difficult times. The news cycle is full of headlines meant to scare us or make us anxious, and it’s tempting to be cynical and pessimistic about things we used to enjoy or enjoy. But Thanksgiving in particular is the reminder we all need, a kind notice. to let go of our worry and stress, enjoy our time with our loved ones, and make the memories we’ll talk about next year.
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